If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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