He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
