He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Your cock deserves a montage
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
