We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
