Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
