Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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