Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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