happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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