Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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