Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
