I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
