this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
