I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
