Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
