That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
