There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
