I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
