Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
