Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
