Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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