whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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