what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
