when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
