Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
