If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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