dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This is my gift to your gina
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
