i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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