she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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