Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I looked at my own cervix.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
