he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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