I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
