Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
