Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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