I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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