Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
