it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
