wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
