He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
