k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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