The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
