we're blogging at a bar
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
