She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
