So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
