Whod you bang
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
