would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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