I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
there was a trapeze. enough said
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
