2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I love you.
Bad choice
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
