Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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