U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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