Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
